To Goal Set or Not to Goal Set. That is the question.

When I entered the self-help and personal development arena in 2013, goal setting was one of the first ideas I bumped into.

It was everywhere.

Everyone seemed to be doing it and talking about it. Those who set goals seemed consecrated to be successful. Those who didn't, well, it was why they weren't creating the life they dreamed of.

I worked with someone who was a massive fan of goal-setting. He served it up at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It was sold as the solution to all my problems.

And it's still being pitched that way in many areas of life.

I attended a webinar three days ago about copywriting and email lists. Today I received a communication from the host titled, "Goals are best served with PLANS."

The email shares how this person became successful because she—A.) Set goals and B.) Made strategic plans and C.) Did "what it takes" to achieve those goals.

The implication is that she "owes" her success to goal setting, and if you want what she has—money and influence, you'd best follow her plan. It worked for her so .... (Comparison models stimulate fear. They imply that you must follow the same path if you want what the other person appears to have. This is a myth and misunderstanding of the limited human thought process.)

And, of course, this person started setting goals in elementary school with a lemonade stand. You didn't? Huh. That certainly explains a lot. 😉

The author's words were intentional. They intended to create a specific reaction of incompleteness in the reader. Humans believe that fear is the best motivator, but it's not. Fear, self-doubt, and insecurity never produce expanded in-the-flow energy. These constricted emotions only produce unsustainable, constricted experiences.

The measure of true influence is alignment within yourself and allowing others to decide if they're ready to align with the expansive, loving, trusting, knowing energy you're modeling—within themselves. True influence is knowing your influential power comes from modeling alignment. Authentic influence does not encourage comparison-based behavioral replication.

Goals are ONE way to get to a result. They are used by millions of people as "permission slips" to create (manifest) a desired outcome or experience.

The illusion created when many people get results from one methodology is that the approach (action) creates the result. While a person's action adds to the results-creation journey, it's not why things turn out the way they do. It LOOKS that way to the cause-and-effect logical mind.

But it's not the reason. Energetic alignment (and POV) is the reason why things turn out the way they do.

For those who use the permission slip of goal setting, it appears that it's the reason why they are so successful. It plays to our beliefs about cause and effect—"just DO this thing" equals "get your result."

But it's not the reason things worked out the way they did. A goal setter is "successful" because of his/her/their vibrational alignment.

This is a reality based on vibration. Vibrational alignment is the "cause" of everyone's outcomes.

Using ANY permission slip (a "permission slip" is any idea, thought, or action you use as your reason (cause and effect thinking) for your outcome, whether positive or negative), you can become vibrationally aligned with the desired outcome and experiences, participating in the manifestation process through inspired actions. 

Because we live in a world of observation, we can see what others do. We hear what they say. We draw outcome-based conclusions based on what they did and what transpired. Our conclusions are aligned with active beliefs.

And if we believe that goal setting is the best way to create changes and works for us, we jump on the bandwagon. From all outward appearances, it certainly looks as if the practice of goal setting is the reason why a person is successful.

A strong belief often creates tunnel vision. We tend to exclude examples that disprove our argument.

When I got caught up in the world of goal-setting, it was used as means to manipulate the behavior of the program attendees. We were told we weren't "successful" because we didn't set goals. If we had set goals and weren't successful, that was because they weren't the "right" type of goals and weren't big enough. If we still couldn't move the needle, then it was blamed on our not following proper directions or our subconscious minds.

It was confusing and upsetting because I was trying hard and doing my best. I didn't realize that I wasn't vibrationally aligned regarding the idea of goal setting. This is why I didn't see changes. Those who did were vibrationally aligned with the idea.

It's not the idea that changes your life. It's how you relate to the idea that creates the magic.

What I didn't understand at the time (2013) is that anything can be used as a permission slip to create vibrational alignment. If you're seeking emotional freedom, shifting from an exclusionary or an inclusionary mindset can provide inner peace.

Vibrational alignment is what moves the needle in this time-space reality. Physical reality changes once you flow energy in the same (emotions indicate energy/vibration) direction as your unconditional, love-based Nonphysical consciousness.

One significant change is feeling creative and inspired. Humans are designed to inhabit this 4-D realm. The four dimensions are length, width, height, and time-space. Physical action is the "language" of this time-space reality. However, not all action is created equal. The energy behind the action matters more than just moving around.

When you're in alignment, ideas flow so much easier. Ideas that are interesting and provoke curiosity naturally get a body moving. Once you're moving, you're automatically in "achievement" mode. Another way to say "achievement mode" is inspired action.

Goal setting is exciting for some people, quickly inspiring them into action. For others, it's like dragging rocks through the desert.

If you try and convince someone that goal setting is the best way and it's not something they embrace as their permission slip, it'll backfire every time.

It's dangerous to standardize personal development. It's unhelpful to systematize the idea of success or how to create it. Humans have this misguided notion that being like others is better than being your authentic self. It's scary to think the only way to get your desired results is to walk the same path as everyone else because, deep down, you know there are infinite ways to get there.

If you believe you are successful because you started goal-setting in elementary school, what does that mean for the rest of us? How does one compare to that?

What is often meant to be an inspiring and motivating email might actually be a negative interaction for some readers. Fear and comparison are constantly used as motivators in society. "If I did it, you could do it too!" is a frequently shared phrase and, while well-intentioned, doesn't always land.

Asking people to use your life experience to transform theirs doesn't work as consistently as we think it does. Whether it's an inspiring or uninspiring idea depends on the person and their active beliefs about themselves.

Years ago, when I read examples of how goal setting (appeared to create) created success for this person or that, my go-to emotion was fear, self-doubt, and self-disappointment. "I can't compare to that!"

When I first got involved with self-help, I was full steam ahead. But as time passed and my goal-setting attempts and actions weren't changing anything, I got depressed. I thought there was something wrong with me. I believed the coach when he said, "You just need to try harder. You're not working hard enough."

That fact that I wasn't enough and I needed to "try harder" played right into my lack of self-confidence. It made sense because I resonated with the idea of not being enough. I believed I could not follow my inner guidance to create success and that I needed to follow in someone else's footsteps. My lack of understanding regarding how inner guidance worked and its legitimacy as a plan kept me beholden to the idea that someone else's way was the best. So I kept looking outside myself for the best methodology and feeling incapable.

For those who live in comparison mode as I did and are unfamiliar with the idea that anything can be a permission slip for success, goal setting can be a trigger. You might feel trapped by conventional methods.

If you get frustrated with the idea of standardized goal setting and how it's promoted as "the way" to create success, then this communication might be just what you need to set you free.

After giving up goal setting, I became easy-going, super productive, and creative. Goal setting wasn't the right way to go about "producing" for me. Instead, I learned to follow my intuition and take inspired action on intuitive ideas as they surfaced.

If goal setting works for you, stick with it! This is not a blog post trashing goal setting or its benefits. It's an opportunity to see how anything—thoughts, ideas, or experiences, can be used as a permission slip to help you create the circumstances you desire in life.

The standard success paradigm states: "Set a goal. Map out a plan. And do what it takes to achieve the goal." And that works for many people, which is excellent.

Let's try something else for those who don't find goal-setting easy and tend to get frustrated more than inspired or motivated. Instead:

• Listen to your heart.
• Allow yourself to follow things that light you up.
• Entertain ideas that bring you joy, and note the energy increase you have to complete inspired actions.
• Witness the synchronicities that make life so much easier.
• Talk about how easy it was to "achieve" what you wanted and how you didn't "work hard" to get what you wanted.
• Line up your energy with thoughts of how individualized this reality experience is and how many different ways there are to create outcomes.
• Share how you took inspired actions that weren't planned or prepared in advance and how that led to a fun and surprising journey.

In conclusion, what do I do to create and "achieve"? I don't set goals. They don't work for me. They're not my permission slip.

How do I get anything done without a list and a plan? I trust my inner guidance. I know what inspired ideas feel like. I trust the built-in control (the flow state) that exists as a spiritual being having a temporary physical experience. I know what resistance feels like in me and how that will directly translate into a rough go of it. So I don't take action before I feel truly inspired—on anything. (It wasn't always like this, though. For years I followed the prescribed life path.)

Today I can happily say:

I don't clean the house until I feel inspired. I have a clean house.

I don't make recipes I picked out 3 days ago if I don't feel inclined. We eat a variety of fresh foods and interesting recipes.

I don't apply for all the jobs I'm qualified for; I wait until I feel a hunch. I've never been without employment that interests me and expands my soul somehow.

I don't write about topics that don't light me up. I have endless ideas to choose from.

I don't call that friend until I feel the intuitive nudge. My friendships are healthy and fulfilling.

When I feel the momentum and am ready to take aligned action, I get "to work." My work is based on inspired, free-flowing action.

I share how I live not as a basis of comparison. I share examples of how living from intuition and alignment works so you know there's a choice. It works better for me than "working really hard" trying everyone else's method. Suffering and struggle are not a necessity to the human experience. There are choices.

An example of following inspired action is my latest book, The Halfways: A Guidebook for Strengthening Your Intuitive Connection. The idea came to me a full year before I ever started writing. I sat on the idea for 12 months. I didn't do anything.

Putting that experience through the typical goal-setting paradigm where you're supposed to set a goal, make a plan, and take immediate action—I probably appeared lazy and unmotivated. One response to a writer who has an idea and doesn't take action is, "She must have writer's block."

That's not at all what was happening. I work best when ideas percolate and expand. I sense when an idea is ready to manifest, and when I feel aligned, I take action. It took about three months to write the book and six to clean it up. Depending on your perspective, writing a book in that timeframe is either long or short.

For experienced writers with a copywriting staff, that's too long. For a solopreneur, that might be a short time. It depends on your POV.

Next time you feel yourself getting upset by the idea of goal setting, take a step back and find me. We can talk about how selecting one idea, making a plan, and doing "everything" you can to achieve it isn't the only way to create magnificent things in your life.

There are infinite other ways. We'll find the one that works best for you.