The Relief of Not Needing to be Good at Stuff

I visit the library weekly. I choose books that speak to me; sometimes, I read them, sometimes I don't.

This week I picked on one titled (It's great to) SUCK at SOMETHING by Karen Rinaldi.

That's a great title.

As I read, I felt a sense of ease thinking about not needing to be good, or even great at something, and instead just enjoying the process. I loved reading about someone else doing something because they enjoyed it—for years and still not being good at it. It's such a relief to know that sometimes we're just going to suck at things, and it's okay.

We can suck at hobbies, finance, relationships, health, or business, and it's okay.

We can suck at cooking, writing, talking, math, surfing, organizing, gardening, or running, and it's okay.

We can suck at dancing, singing, card games, frisbee, being present, drinking enough water, or driving, and it's okay.

It's more important to focus on the joy of the task you decide to spend time on than anything else.

In today's world, we see into everyone else's lives via social media. Often it's a tailored image of good stuff only. It's not an accurate or complete reflection of a person's life. It tends to skew one's thought process leading us to believe that if we're not good at something, there's no use in continuing.

If you're not the best, why bother?

Comparison invites a sense of lack instead of fostering the idea that we're all on complex, incomplete, individualized exploratory journeys.

The need to set goals, strive for greatness, and be better than everyone else haunts many of us. Standardized education started the ball rolling with tests, rankings, and awards. It keeps rolling into adulthood as we compare financial, emotional, and physical standing.

We feel inadequate, unsuccessful, and lazy if we aren't "working toward mastery" daily.

Personally, the idea that I need to keep my nose to the grindstone and be good at everything I try is stressful. It doesn't feel like we can try something for fun anymore.

As I read (It's great to) SUCK at SOMETHING, I tapped into the energy of relaxation. It permitted me to release the tension around the idea that I had to be better than I am at many tasks.

I'm not great at sewing, for example. I love making stuff, but there always seems to be something slightly out of whack—cushion seams aren't straight, the pants are too big, or I cut the fabric incorrectly. But when I'm in the process, I love it. 

And I love remembering that it's not about the end product but the process.

When I started writing, I wasn't just a little bit bad; I was terrible. My grammar and punctuation were horrible. Ideas didn't flow on paper as they seemed to in my head.

Most of my books still have many mistakes because I still suck at editing. The self-guided online courses I've written over the years are self-edited. They have tons of errors. Oh well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But I love writing, so I continue. I'm not striving for perfection or a best-selling novel. I'm aiming for self-awareness and insight. I enjoy finding the best word for a sentence or example to explain a concept. I get great satisfaction from looking at ideas from new points of view.

In July 2023, we went to an Ed Sheeran concert. He's an incredible musician. It was so much fun to watch him create. He talked about how when he first started singing, he sucked. I remembered seeing a video online showcasing how off-key he sang as a teen.

I'm terrible at the ukulele. I don't play often, my fingers get sore quickly, and I usually play many incorrect musical notes. I suck, but I love playing.

The week my Dad transitioned in March 2021 was one of the first times I picked up my ukulele. I'd only learned four notes at this point. Maui, Hawaii, was a vacation destination for our extended family for many years. Hawaiian music held a special place in our hearts.

I was on night duty. Dad had been unresponsive for a while. I picked up my ukulele and played. I knew no songs and played notes for about an hour. I imagine Dad loved how much I sucked. It wasn't about the playing. It was about my presence, the instrument's vibration, and our energetic connection.

Playing the ukulele reminds me of Maui and Dad, so I play. I play for the joy of feeling the resonance of the instrument. I play because it's fun. I play, and I suck, and it's okay.

It's okay to suck at something and still do it because you love it. It's a huge relief not to strive to be the best or always aim to "come out of the top." The relief that comes from giving yourself some slack makes all the difference in your emotional well-being.

I'm new to my mediumship skills. The information never makes sense to me. Sometimes I say things, and it means nothing to the client. Sometimes it does. It's easier for me emotionally when I remember that when I'm new to something, I naturally suck and then remind myself that my heart is in the right place and I love what I'm doing. I'll get better over time.

It's okay to suck at spiritual endeavors. If it brings your heart joy to investigate or practice specific spiritual skill sets, go for it. The best part is that Source Energy doesn't care (not in the least bit) that you suck. Your loving Source Energy encourages a joyful heart and light soul.

The next time you feel the pressure of getting it right or being "top of the class," focus on the joy of the process instead. Allow yourself to be present and in the flow. Notice how your body relaxes and the nerves fade away.

You don't need to be brave to suck at something. You only need to be curious enough to try. So, will you? If you love what you're doing, that's all that matters. Go forth and suck at as much stuff as you want, dear ones.