It's not what happens to you; It's how you respond that matters.

My husband opens the front curtains and sees the neighbor from one block over on our front lawn. Her dog poops in our yard. The neighbor walks away, leaving the poop.

G is at work when he eventually texts me what he witnessed, so I check. Sure enough. She never returned to pick it up, leaving a big pile of dog poop in our yard.

We know this neighbor. Not very well, mind you, but we know each other. She's lived there for nearly 15 years. We have kids the same age.

There's no bad blood. Friendly hellos are typically exchanged.

Leaving your dog's poop in the neighbor's yard is terrible manners; I'm betting she doesn't know we saw her. 

I'm a rule follower. It bothers me when people intentionally do harmful things, such as driving irresponsibly, knowingly causing harm to others, or making others' lives more difficult on purpose.

I immediately got upset about the neighbor's negligent pet-owning behavior. "How could she!" I'm the one who has to clean up after her dog. My gag reflex always gets triggered.

The point of this blog is not to complain about irresponsible pet owners; it's to discuss the fact that it's not what happens to you that matters. It's how you respond.

I have options regarding how I respond to this situation and person. Infinite possibilities, frankly. Here are a few that came to mind.

I use the terms "respond" and "react" differently. Respond is more thoughtful and indicates action guided by positive (at least, not negative or "enflamed" emotions). React means what I could do if negative emotions got the best of me.

Options:

A) I could be accusatory or angry the next time I see this person. (Reaction to negative emotions.)

B) I could obsess over how irresponsible she is, remaining irked for days and holding a grudge. (Reaction to feeling victimized.)

C) I could tell other neighbors about her irresponsible behavior so they watch out for her. Their lawn might be next! (Reaction to wanting revenge. "Irresponsible Dog Owner! You can't do this to me and get away with it!")

D) I could start a support group called People Who've Gotten Pooped On. (This is a tricky one to categorize. On the one hand, it's a response—seeking community. Conversely, it's a reaction because the negative emotion guides the decision to find others who've also been scorned. Like energy seeks like energy.)

D) I could let it go completely. (Ideal response for my emotional health and well-being.)

E) I could practically apply (not just theoretically) the phrase this post is about to this situation. It's not about the sh#t that happens to you. It's only about how you respond. (Response because I'm using experiential learning to expand my self-awareness. I don't want to instantly forget about it if I can use this situation to learn more about myself and how I can handle things differently as time passes.)

One of my favorite ideas is that this reality is vibratory. It's based on vibration. We translate vibration as feelings and thoughts. We're much more familiar with sight and sound being translations of vibration. Taste, touch, and smell also translate energy waves (vibrations).

We rarely consider that feelings and thoughts are also translations of vibrations, but they are.

Consider the first part of the phrase, "It's not what happens to you." Unfortunately, this phrase is misleading. It insinuates that stuff is happening to you vs. through you.

Life is happening through you, not to you. It's being revealed to you via your perception. Perception is guided by how you think and feel about something.

You are a Nonphysical consciousness experiencing itself through multiple lenses—simultaneously. You are, first and foremost, a spirit energy. Your spirit self decided to dedicate a portion of its totality to the experience of separation.

Physical reality is the experience of feeling separate from your whole vibrational self. You're not actually separated from your Nonphysical essence. It just feels like it is based on your fluctuating, limited physical perspective.

This time-space reality is set up to feel like things are out of control. The "set up" part was created when you forgot that you retained creative control over your experience. I don't mean "set up" in the negative way it is typically used.

You're not being set up to fail in this life. There are no evil forces dedicated to your suffering. There is no Law of Insertion in this reality. Nothing is being inserted into your reality the way it might feel some days.

When you believe yourself separate from Source energy, it can feel like you have zero control over your environment. That feeling makes everything seem so real. In fact, without the reinforcement of emotions, you would not engage in life the same way you do now.

If nothing felt real, you'd sit on the couch and never move. Since it does feel real, you respond to that email, go to work, and take action in multiple ways.

If it feels like the neighbor is intentionally being a jerk by leaving her dog poop in your yard, you react according to the angry feeling—because it feels so real! The feeling (a hormonal response) is generated from the belief that things happen TO you instead of through you.

We do have complete control, however. We create our realities. Because we always have creative control, life doesn't happen to us; it happens through us.

Life force flows through you, not to you has a point-to-point destination. Energy does come from somewhere, ending up at the destination YOU. You are energetic consciousness being created right where you are.

To be clear, I am not sweeping the idea that things happen to which we are a party that we don't want. Sh#t happens. Sometimes it's harrowing, and other times only mildly annoying.

I didn't ask the dog to poop on the lawn. I didn't want the neighbor to leave it. This is not a "just shift your vibration and bad things don't happen" conversation. This is NOT about the traditional idea of karma where I did something "in another life," and now I'm paying for it. There is no big lesson here I need to learn.

When discussing creating your reality, I'm not insinuating controlling (or trying to control) other people or their pets. You have no control over what different energies decide to do or say.

You control your perception and respond (or react) to what you observe. You decide what it means and what you take away from the situation. The ultimate form of creative control is how you respond (not react) to the problem.

What's today's version of dog poop on the lawn? Is it a financial situation? A health situation? A relationship situation? A spiritual situation? Things not going as you planned regarding goals and success?

This is the first time I've found doggie doo-doo in our yard that I haven't been thoroughly annoyed. I used to get so mad. When we first moved in, I wanted to put a sign in the yard telling people to clean up after their dogs. I wanted to ensure they knew ours was no lawn where you could leave your poop! 

Like I said, I'm a rule follower. I like the (perceived) safety of the structure. When we all do our part, things flow much more smoothly—or .. that's the premise.

I never placed the sign in the yard. It did occur to me that people would probably leave poop precisely because there was a sign that said: no pooping!

Interestingly, the guy on the corner down the block was a former police officer. He installed video cameras in his front yard and a sign that said, "Clean up after your dog, or you'll be prosecuted."

The neighbors all called him an a-hole.

People are people, and they don't always follow the rules. When I required others to follow directions to be happy, I wasn't very happy. People rarely act according to how I'd like them to. They have their ideas and ways of looking at life. Anyone with children, parents, employers, employees, extended family, or friends knows this.

Looking at circumstances I don't like is never going to feel good. But when stuff I don't like happens, I have a choice. Remembering choice is true empowerment. It's the emotional freedom we seek.

I can react in alignment with the displeasing situation or remember that I don't control other people. At that moment, I can think that how I feel/respond is up to me.

Other ideas that help me shift from reacting to responding are remembering that life flows through me and not at me or to me. It's not like life is "coming at me," even though it feels that way. Shifting my perspective is essential to feeling better.

The next time "a dog poops in your yard," metaphorically speaking, pause and see if you can shift your POV and thus how you feel. This might take time to achieve, but it's okay. We've got plenty of time.

Ultimately, you want to consciously create more situations in life that you feel good about. To do that, you must start by consciously shifting your POV about the problems—as they happen, that typically make you angry.

This is not a "positive vibes only" post. It's not about only feeling good. It's about understanding what emotions reveal about yourself. It's about shifting from a victim's POV when sh#t happens to an empowered "I have a choice" POV.

You got this. Keep me posted on how it goes.