4 Popular Pieces of Advice I'm Sick of Hearing

I've been in the self-help industry for nearly ten years. I've read hundreds of books and listened to endless hours of podcasts. In that time, I've identified a few beliefs I'm tired of hearing about because they're fundamentally inaccurate. Let's give these pieces of advice a time out.

These pieces of advice also encourage people to continue patterns of thought and action that make life harder rather than easier.

Before I tell you what those four pieces of advice are, let's start at the beginning so they'll make more sense when you read them.

You and I are spiritual beings—first and foremost. That means we are Nonphysical consciousness experiencing itself through a physical lens. When that physical perspective taps out—and it will tap out at some point (no one lives forever), we'll integrate what we learned from our physical perspective into the broader Nonphysical perspective that is the real us. Consciousness is not limited to the physical perspective. It is much broader and more infinite than just one POV.

We are not focused on this time-space perspective to "fix" anything. We're not here to "change the world." You are not making mistakes no matter what you do.

You focused here because of the unique opportunity to express yourself authentically. You intended to enjoy the process and learn more about yourself.

When considering any idea—such as relationships, business, or personal development, everything makes more sense when you start with the premise that you're an infinite, unconditionally loving consciousness.

There are so many misunderstandings about life "on earth." It's easy to see why looking through a limited, diminished perspective leads to constricting (negative) ideas. Acknowledging that being physical will always have a constricted POV isn't a "negative thought." It's simply an accurate assessment of the Life on Earth situation. You will always have some amount of constricted thoughts as a human being. It's part of the package.

To have a physical experience in the first place, you placed parameters on your expanded and connected to All-That-Is consciousness. The first experience you had to "become" a physical being is a negative structural experience. It is part of this reality. Constricting experiences are not "bad"—they are highly relevant.

You'd most likely have transitioned if you suddenly remembered how loved and connected to All-That-Is you are. This is what the death experience is for: remembering how connected to Source energy you are and remembering that you're a divine, unconditionally loving being.

With that in mind, here are four pieces of advice I'm sick of hearing from personal development leaders. 

1. It worked for me, so it'll work for you!

The concept of one-size-fits-all comes from standardized education. As of today, the personal development industry is essentially a replication of public school, structurally speaking.

There's a standard curriculum in school with minimal leeway and support for those who struggle to succeed. You need to fit into the standard, or you won't survive. Many subject area teachers have never gone beyond the theoretical such as the college business professor who's never run an actual business.

In personal development, you join a pre-determined program written by someone—who might or might not have experienced what they're advising. They insist you follow directions if you want your results. If you don't fall in line or struggle, they aren't sure how to help ..... cause it's outside their wheelhouse.

Why doesn't the system work for everyone the same? Because everyone is on a supremely unique personal journey. If something does work for you, you've decided it's the perfect "permission slip" to allow you back into alignment.

What is alignment? It's the state of being where you allow your physical energy to flow in the direction of the ease and flow of your Nonphysical being. In a nutshell, it is the most powerful point for inner and outer (intangible and tangible) manifestations.

You always have two POVs active: your physical POV and your Nonphysical POV. These two points of view (or states of being) guide you to know where you're flowing energy at any moment. Your Nonphysical state of being is always in the energy of unconditional love. Your physical state of being can deviate from that unconditional lens and experience different levels of disconnection. You might experience everything from fear to generalized disappointment and malaise.

The only reason you can feel anything is because of the constant in this experiment: unconditional love. Unconditional love is the real you and never changes. Hot and cold have meaning because of their relationship with each other. Love and fear have meaning because of their relationship with each other.

But something has to be the constant in this human life experiment for there to be any experience at all. That constant is unconditional love. It's the basis of the universe itself.

The idea that just because something works for one person, it automatically works for another is an outdated paradigm that promotes frustration for those who struggle and superiority for those who don't.

How often have you thought, "Why can't she just do what I tell her? It's so easy. It worked for me, so clearly, she's doing something wrong if this advice doesn't work for her. She should try harder."

We've all had thoughts similar to this at some point in life. Maybe you advised your child (or friend) and got frustrated when they didn't get the same results as you. You assumed they were lazy or not as "bright." You might conclude there's something wrong with your friend because ...clearly .... the process is not flawed. It worked for you.

This old paradigm of standardized self-development is outdated and needs a makeover. It's time to give that belief a time out.

With what can we replace the outdated sentiment? Instead, we might say, "There's this process I tried, and it worked. It might work for you. If it doesn't, let's tweak the original formula and personalize it."

2. Take nonstop action! You have to hustle if you want to get ahead!

This belief comes from centuries of out-of-alignment action. Never before in the history of our reality has consciousness been this expanded. Other words for expanded are aware or "enlightened."

You can certainly push stuff around in this physical reality with force. We've been doing it for thousands of years. But just because it's always been done one way doesn't mean we must continue.

Action is part of this physical reality. I'm not advocating zero action. I invite you to a different action plan based on alignment instead of fear. The idea of taking nonstop action implies a belief that the only way something comes into existence is through constant action, and often brute force, on your part.

The phrase "get ahead" implies that you are behind. Feeling like you're behind stimulates fear, so you continue to take "should" actions out of a FOMO energy.

An energy of fear or lack will never turn into an energy of abundance and allowance. You can, however, shift your focus. There are infinite energy states (states of being) available to you. You get to choose which ones you engage in and how often.

Life is much more fun when you take inspired actions. Inspired actions are taken from a more expanded state of being. Inspired action understands the matrix of creation and how everything is connected.

When you're taking inspired actions, you don't demand that the initial excitement needs to become something specific. Inspired action implies an understanding that everything is a step along the way.

Pay attention to red and green light synchronicities. Synchronicity is an organizing principle of this reality. It's the point where two energies cross paths, creating an experience. You are energy, and so is everything else in the universe.

Red-light synchronicity is when you cannot take any more action in a specific direction. Red lights don't stay red forever. They eventually change to green.

Green-light synchronicity is a situation or circumstance where you can take easy, inspired action. They are just as likely to occur as red light. Having a variety of synchronistic type experiences is what life is all about.  The types of synchronicities you experience and when depends on your supremely unique personal life journey.

You'll only believe in this idea if you experience it firsthand. Grow your awareness. Look for how you're being guided. Do you get angry or frustrated when things don't go your way? Or do you understand it's a red-light synchronicity experience?

Shifting from FOMO actions to inspired actions takes time. If you've habituated to adrenaline-induced action, taking easy-feeling actions feels strange. You've been trained to believe it's not effective or practical if it's easy. You'll need to transition away from this limiting belief; it's so worth it.

With what can we replace this outdated sentiment? Take actions out of inspiration instead of fear. Take breaks when red-light synchronicities show up. Enjoy the ride, knowing that when it's right for you to act, it'll feel easier than when you force things.

3. Following your passion isn't practical.

Listening to a recent podcast where a well-known industry leader said, "I'm so sick of hearing people tell you to follow your passion!" led me to write this blog post. For those who view life solely through the physical lens, I can see why they might believe that. It doesn't seem "practical" to follow your passion. Passion is deemed impractical, frivolous, and irresponsible. What's "practical" in our era seems to be to struggle for years until you finally get a break.

Who gets to determine what is and is not practical? What's "practical" today was impractical 50 years ago. Why do struggle and unhappiness seem more realistic than following your passion?

Other words for passion are excitement and curiosity. When you feel passion, what you're experiencing is the translation of hormones in the physical body.

Passion is the indication that you're in conversation with your Higher Self. The Higher Self is a dedicated aspect of your broader perspective leading you with love through this physical experience. The Higher Self has a bird's-eye perspective on your overall journey. It hints at which paths are best for you to travel in life. I go in-depth on the Higher and Physical Minds in my book The Halfways: A Guidebook to Strengthening Your Intuitive Connection.

This is why NOT following your passion is illogical and impractical. Either you follow what others have determined is practical based on the era and subjective experience or you follow your intuition which knows how to lead you from unconditional love and a bird's eye perspective.

Why would I continue to take actions that are out of alignment with my true path? Why would I make choices with a higher probability of not working out because I'm forcing myself out of obligation or fear? That doesn't make a lot of logical sense.

With what can we replace this outdated sentiment? Follow your heart. Trust that inner guidance gives you every advantage to create all forms of abundance.

4. The only way to get people to take action is with scarcity or FOMO.

This might be true for some people, but blanket statements are misleading. I've heard the above sentiment so often; I'm sick of hearing it because it's not true for everyone. It's rare to hear the opposite—people take action from inspiration as often as scarcity or lack, from those in business or marketing.

Millions of daily purchases happen from abundance and a sense of "This just feels right." I just booked a week-long vacation house. It wasn't done out of FOMO or scarcity. How are personal development purchases any different? They're not. It's only different if we say it is. Humans are making the rule in all categories. Let's stop spreading the rumor that the only way to sell in personal development is with scarcity.

I used to take action from not wanting to "miss out" or be "left behind," but not anymore. Fear, doubt, or insecurity are not good indicators of what action you should take next—being stimulated into action from fear is a horrible way to make decisions.

Emotions, whether fear or passion, tell you your active beliefs at that moment but are not meant to be used as motivation or decision-making tools.

We are at a point in our conscious evolution where we are transitioning from acting out of fear to acting out of love. We are shifting from living from the POV of limitation to integrating the binocular perspective. It may not look like the shift has started with current societal division, but if you dig deeper, you'll find the answers you require.

We are at the point in our spiritual evolution where we're shedding our dependency on standardization and fear. We're moving from thinking things need to look a specific way to embracing the true nature of this reality: diversity. Lots and lots of beautiful diversity!

Diversity of thinking and acting. We are beginning to recognize the beauty and benefits of the diversity of life paths, some taken out of alignment and others in. For some of us, the "best" path is to continue to act out of fear, and for others, the next step is one taken in love.

Celebrating the supreme uniqueness of the individual's journey is becoming and will be the "goal" in the future. When we hear someone say, "It worked for me!" instead of taking the same path out of fear of missing out, we'll tap into our intuition to decide whether that choice works for us too.

Following your passion is THE MOST practical action. What's impractical is pushing through a situation you don't enjoy for possible future success. The popular podcaster's advice was to start with something "practical" and eventually hope you become passionate about the business you started.

What does "practical" even mean? What is practical for one person is a risk for another. It's an individual journey. It's impractical to ask someone to "push through" the pain thinking it's the only way to "the top."

There are infinite ways to your success. You can create a path of lifelong hardship, or you can create a path of joyful experiences and endeavors.

What creates success isn't "hard work." It's inspired action taken from a place of ease.

Why would you set up a business based on what has worked for everyone else and is something you don't enjoy? This is not an innovative idea.

Why would you stay in a relationship you don't enjoy for the sake of others? Your current misery and martyrdom only make you and those around you unhappy.

Why would you practice a health protocol that scares you? Find the ones that feel easy. Healing—mental, physical, and spiritual, has much more to do with your expanded (positive) vibration than the actual protocol.

We are beginning to understand the true power behind inspired actions. In the future, there is no marketing based on FOMO. An invitation for an experience is followed up by the individual checking in with their intuition. They intuitively know whether it's a red or green light synchronicity experience. They take inspired action to either embrace or shelve the experience for later.

With what can we replace this outdated sentiment? You can be motivated by fear or inspired by joy. The path of inspiration is sustainable and enjoyable. Fear is chaotic and unreliable. Choose the right one for you today. You can change your mind tomorrow. It's all good.